Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
