she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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