One girl and one boy is just not enough.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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