thus making me awesome and them whores
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
