we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
