just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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