Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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