That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
