just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I didn't notice because vodka
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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