Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
