Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
