6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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