he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
