dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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