I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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