6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Randomize
