I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize