arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
