You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
