and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
