Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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