i just google imaged poop.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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