I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
