i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
