Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize