Swine flu. Run for my life!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
