Kareoke will never be a sober sport
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
