she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
