My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
