rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am naked and annoyed.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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