I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
