In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
