HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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