So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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