when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
