their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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