do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
