ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
