Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
