There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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