Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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