juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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