You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
