do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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