her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
