are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
