there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
