Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
