dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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