hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
