his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
