I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
