DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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