I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I am one with the molecules
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
