i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize