youre lurking in front of me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
