We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
