That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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