I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize