Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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